Yes, I watch The Real Housewives of Orange County. Yes, I am ashamed to admit it. And, yes, we actually can learn valuable lessons from ladies whose sole purpose on this Earth is to love themselves more than they love anybody else.
The title of the show is slightly misleading because the Real Housewives of Orange County aren't "real" in any sense of the word. I have never witnessed a phonier bunch of women in one television series before. Oh sure, the ladies on any given afternoon soap opera are superficial and shallow, but they are acting. The Real Housewives of Orange County prove week after week that they are the ultimate narcissists. Week after week we witness another crack in their moral foundation. Week after week the train wreck continues. What does it say about me that I continue to watch the show? Well, I think that's a discussion for another blog post, so for now let's stick to bashing the egotistical, brainless blonds (and brunette) from the O.C.
Lesson #1 - When it comes to parenting, do the exact opposite of whatever any of the housewives is doing. (Or, I would rather stick a hot poker in my eye than take parenting advice from one of these broads).
Let's just start with the worst parenting moments ever witnessed on TV. Lynne you oughta be ashamed. Lynne's daughter is begging her to set some boundaries. Begging! How much clearer does she need to be? I wish Lynne would stop acting like she is so clueless. All we hear from Lynne is the same old tired cries of "I want to be a good mom" or "I only want the best for my daughter" or "Teenagers are soooooo hard." Boo Hoo Hoo. Stop you're caterwauling and step up to the parenting plate, Lynne. If she cared more about her daughter's prolonged absences or blatant disregard for authority than she does about how much shorter she can wear her miniskirts without getting arrested, she might get a pass. Actions speak louder than words, Lynne. Get a backbone!
Alexis is a stay-at-home mom with a nanny. I tune her out when I hear her talk about how hard it is raising kids, because she isn't raising them. She can take them to church and she can drag them along on her mani/pedi outings (seriously, 2-year-olds in a nail salon? Really?) and make it look all cute and like "I'm the most involved mom in the world" but she isn't pulling the wool over anyone's eyes. She has a nanny and gets to work out and have mani/pedis. Enough said.
Lesson #2: People Who Live in Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones
Vicki works and everyone knows it. I'm glad she has a job that she loves going to everyday and that she is successful but she has a real problem with her mouth. If you can dish it out you better be able to take it right back or else keep your mouth shut. But, Vicki can't take in what she dishes out. She cries. Boo hoo hoo "these girls are so mean." Well, take a look in the mirror sister , you ain't no Pollyanna.
Lesson #3: Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer
Not one of these women is a friend to the other. Not one. I am sick of hearing about who has whose "back." Each of these relationships is as fake as their breasts. The only thing on the back of each woman is a protruding knife plunged there by her so-called "friend."
Lesson #4: Stop watching the show
Okay, this lesson is for me. I'm done. No more Orange County. I'm not even going to comment on Tamra's pathetic marriage or Gretchen's belief that her boyfriend isn't using her. I'm feeling nauseous. I've spent too much time talking about these ladies already. I need to stop watching a show the elevates my blood pressure and increases my heartbeat to unnatural rhythms. I don't like these women and have no sympathy for them. They sold their souls to be on a reality television show which is a pretty steep price to pay for fame.
Karma will come-a-calling. It always does.