Tuesday, September 6, 2011

First Day of School Woe

Gosh, it's quiet in my house.

The school bus just pulled away with my baby on board.  Oops.  I mean my 6-year-old.  Wait a minute.  How did he get to be six already?  The operative word here is "minute."  That's about how long it took to give birth and send my precious babies off to school.

I have written here before about how grateful I am to be a stay-at-home mom and how wonderful the past eight years have been for me (six years home with the oldest before he started school and two extra years with my youngest ...now headed to school full-time).  I've touted the glories of part-time Kindergarten that enabled my kids to learn at school but continue our other activities like museum trips and park play dates -  during which learning took place on a whole different level.  I've even shared my horror stories about how my kids turn into the Incredible Hulk at the very tender age of six.

I've had to navigate the crazy, constantly-changing, anxiety-producing stages of babies, toddlers and preschoolers.  It seems like just when I get my groove on and start to understand a certain stage, it changes.  They grow and change some more. Nothings ever stays the same.

And so in my too-quiet house I have to come to terms with the fact that I no longer have babies, toddlers or preschoolers running around.  I have a 1st and 3rd grader who will keep me busy with school volunteer opportunities and sports practices.  Our lives will change, yet again, with our brief conversations over breakfast before the harried morning starts and our brief conversations at dinner before we head out the door for practice.  We won't get too many opportunities for sleeping in late or making homemade granola together.  Oh sure, on the weekends maybe, but that would have to take place in between soccer games and playing outside with friends.

I love that the boys are excited about school and eager to get back in touch with classmates they weren't able to see over the summer.  They were all smiles as they got on the bus today.  Their first day of school is an exciting time of new teachers, new friends and new opportunities.

The first day of school for me is a head-scratching, teary-eyed, reminiscence of two boys who were babies just a minute ago.  As they move forward toward independence, I cringe at the the thought of another year passing by so quickly.

So, I'm just going to sit here today and feel sorry for myself.  I will probably cry a little (okay, a lot) and then I will look forward with anticipation because our lives are changing, yet again. Change isn't always bad, right?   More often than not it brings unexpected potential.  What will this new change bring to our house?  Dunno.  But, I'm open to the possibilities...after I spend my day looking through old photo albums and feeling sorry for myself.  And crying.

I'm not sure my tears can drown out the tick-tock of my family room clock.  Who knew it was so loud?


Jeanette said...

I remember the first day I sat home alone for lunch, after my kids went to school. It felt so lonely and odd, but quickly, my time was filled with other activities. The crying doesn't stop either...I cried the day I dropped my son off to college for the first time a few weeks ago. But I know it's all part of my boys growing up into (hopefully) responsible young adults.

Kim Murray said...

Hi Jeanette, thanks for the note! I'm sure the crying won't stop - I hear so many parents of college-age kids saying the same thing :(

BTW, I can't wait to try the baked pumpkin donuts. Looks delicious!

Samantha Jacokes said...

I looked through photo albums today too :(


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