Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I Feel Your Pain

I cringe when I see the dates of my last posts because I'm reminded of how much has been going on in the past few months and how little time I've had to tend to things like a simple blog post.  I think about writing a lot but rarely have the time to just sit down and do it.

I don't wish what we're going through on anyone and I won't lie and say it hasn't been hard. This cancer business is damn hard.  I don't know how my husband does it when he's strapped to a table getting gamma rays beamed into his skull or how he forces himself to swallow a chemo pill he knows is meant to kill his cancer cells but brings with it a host of unpleasant side effects.  I don't know how he gets up every day ready to do battle with a monstrous adversary that threatens to engulf his brain.

People say to me, "I don't know how you keep it all together." Well, that makes two of us.  I don't know how I keep it all together either.  Seriously.  No idea.

But just because you can't imagine being in our shoes and you sympathize with our struggles it doesn't mean we want to stop hearing about yours.  More than once I've had friends start to tell me about a really bad day or a troublesome event but stopped short saying, "well, this is nothing compared to what you're going through..."

It doesn't matter if you're upset that your kid failed his math test or if you're mad at your husband because he didn't take the trash out.  I still want to hear about it.  We all have problems that require solutions or at the very least a sympathetic ear.  There is no need to try to compare your situation with mine because battles are battles regardless of the level of discomfort.  

I know it's easy to think, well she has it much worse than me so I shouldn't complain.  But, I want to know what's going on in your lives.  I want to hear about the math tests and the trash still sitting in your garage on trash day.  I know how those seemingly little things can transform into really big things when you don't talk about it or get it off your chest.

We all have struggles of one kind or another.  Please don't think that because my struggles seem so much larger than yours that your struggles don't matter.  They matter.  You matter.  I feel your pain.  As a matter of fact, I would rather feel your pain than my pain.

So please don't say, "well this is nothing compared to what you're going through..." and stop telling me your stories. I want to hear your stories.  I need to hear your stories.

When you tell me your kid failed another math test or your husband went out with the guys and the mice got into your trash in the garage, believe it or not  I'm probably thinking I don't know how she does it.


Jenna said...

Kim, if you looked up "true friend" in the encyclopedia your picture would be there! You have always been the best friend!! You are awesome and I love you tons :).

You brought tears to my eyes girl :).

Miss you!!


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