Sorry for the posting delay. I haven't had much to say. Our lives have been turned upside down by my husband's brain tumor diagnosis and there are only so many ways to put a positive spin on the devastating situation we find ourselves in. In my quest to find something to say I realized it's sometimes best to say nothing at all and just listen instead.
I've been listening to the sounds of my kids' laughter more than ever now. Normally, their silliness and excessive giggles are annoying. I'm talking annoyingly excessive giggles. Parents, you know what I mean. Like, the cackles and hilarity that make it difficult to drive when we're in the car. Or the howling and shrieking that make dinner less than enjoyable.
But, lately, I've been listening to the sheer delight emanating from their belly laughs. I see the I-can't-breathe-I'm-laughing-so-hard look of bliss on their faces. The other day in the car when the cackles started I didn't bother to tell them to take it down a notch. I didn't bother to ask them to be quiet. It's useless anyway. Even if they try to be quiet, the giggling under stifled breath almost always escalates into a fit of laughing frenzy.
I wondered why the hell we are always asking kids to be quiet when they're happy? Why do we ask them to lower their decibel levels when they're laughing? It's crazy isn't it?
So, I just started laughing, too. In the car that day I realized we've had so much sadness lately that it's hard to find the happiness. It's hard to find the laughter. I have to search for it, but my kids know it instinctively. They know how to be genuinely happy because life hasn't beaten the hopefulness and joy out them. Well, I can choose not to let life beat the joy out of me either. I can choose to laugh instead.
Now, when I listen to my kids' laughter (I mean, really listen) and join in, I feel the joy. I feel elated and happy, but most of all I
hear potential. I hear the potential of them (and me) finding a way to deal with the hard times. Th potential to find a way to heal.
Laughter really is the best medicine.